The Curs(e) of Personal and Political Credit

“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
Harry S Truman

“When will we get the sorting utility manual?” I asked of the group manager.

“Charles, we don’t have a sort utility manual because we are not going to sort our data. You need to use the indexing capabilities of our new database.”

Oh, how I wish he hadn’t sent the e-mail to the entire company. It was mildly embarrassing to me, but that was nothing compared to the embarrassment he brought onto himself. Someone who had his ear told him that I’d been working with huge volumes of data, so large that the database was incapable of handling even a small percentage would drag the database to its knees.

Two weeks later one of the project leaders dropped the sort utility manual onto my desk. I’m not proud of my next comment, asking “Whose idea did it have to become before it was acceptable?”

Computer programmers and engineers tend to be a non-conventional breed of creature in the workplace. These people tend to come up with phenomenal ideas on a daily basis, but this is coupled with weak resignation that hardly anything will be accepted when it comes from them. In geek-speak it goes like this:
The acceptability of an idea depends on its source far more than its content.

Several years ago I sent this concept to Scott Adams, creator of the "Dilbert" comic strip. He has used the idea on occasion, though I may have been only one of many who sent it to him.

Translated into real-world language, the principle works like this.

• On Monday Bob, a geek, will come up with an idea.
  Jim, Bob’s low-level manager, dismisses the idea out of hand. Management would never buy it. The idea is too much trouble to implement. It’s too expensive. It takes too long to recover the cost of putting the idea in place. It doesn’t fit with the philosophy of the company.
• On Tuesday Harold, the department head, calls a meeting of low-level managers and solicits ideas. Jim presents Bob’s idea, claiming credit for coming up with it, and Harold gives Bob the approval to put the idea in place.
• On Thursday Malcolm, the division vice president, calls a meeting of department heads and asks for status reports. Harold describes the idea he came up with, and the progress his department is already making in its implementation.
• On Friday Keith, the CEO, holds a press conference to report the state of the company and its innovative accomplishments. Keith describes his (actually, Bob's) idea, already in place for several days, and the way his hard work and creativity is paying off.
• The following Monday, as the process gets repeated, Malcolm passes Keith in the hallway. Keith smiles at Malcolm. Malcolm, now having a nice day because the CEO smiled at him, calls Harold into his office and compliments him on last week’s superb idea. Harold, courteously thanking Malcolm, leaves and visits Jim in the engineering area. Another attaboy goes to Jim, and Harold feels he has expressed adequate appreciation to Jim. Jim then goes to Bob and demands new suggestions for company improvement. As Bob smiles and promises to think of something, he sees his idea going in full force and is happy. He also has mild contempt for Jim, Harold, Malcolm, and Keith.

Because Jim took credit for Bob’s idea, and Harold took credit for Jim’s stolen idea, and Malcolm took credit for Harold’s stolen goods, and Keith made the buck stop with him, they’re all credit hounds. So in calling them “curs” my title is not a misprint.

Bob continues at the company for several years, content to see the results of his ideas making his workplace better. Just before he is laid off, however, Bob puts one final idea in place. He goes to the tropical fish store, purchases a fishbowl, and sets it onto the secretary’s desk.

Whenever Bob or any of the other geeks come up with an idea, they write it onto a piece of paper and put it into the fishbowl. Whenever a department head or a low-level manager needs a smile from a superior, it is a simple matter of pulling out a slip of paper from the fishbowl and implementing the idea written on it.

The geeks couldn’t care less. It’s affirmation enough to see the idea work. That’s their job satisfaction. They don’t have to compete; they don’t have to stab others in the back; they don’t have to get credit for their ideas. They just work until someone really smart takes the company’s reins and decides the geeks are expendable, at which time the techies are laid off and the smart managers empty the fishbowl prior to running the company into the ground.

I remember in 1968 when Alabama Governor George Wallace ran for President of the United States. The nation was mired in a conflict in Southeast Asia, among other things. I remember Wallace making a campaign speech, in which he addressed several things he planned to do for the nation if elected. After each point, especially that of ending the Viet Nam conflict, he would say “. . . and I could care less who gets the credit for it!” (Yes, of course he meant that he “could NOT care less.” But this is evolution of the English language, not illiteracy on the governor’s part.) Whatever else I thought of Governor Wallace, those words of his stuck with me ever since.

So what shall be our commitment as we address the social and political issues of our day?

Charles+

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The world is too full of examples like these. Allow me to share one more, as a footnote.

One night I rode in the police helicopter over Washington, DC. I noticed, looking down at a crime scene, that the tops of the police vehicles had luminous numbers for ID. Later I asked the helicopter pilot if this helps him to identify the units, and he said, "Funny you should mention that." Then he told me this story.

"A couple of years ago I suggested to the chief that the tops of the cars ought to have their IDs so that the helicopter pilot could call out on the bullhorn when a suspect runs past one of them. The chief said it was a lousy idea, too expensive and impractical. Then a few weeks later the Commissioner made a public statement about putting IDs on the tops of the cars. It was amazing what a great idea the chief thought it was!"